The India Adventure

Dear Reader,

I'll get to why I've included a picture of a vending machine in a minute. Writing a blog is like a relationship, I think. At first, its all new and exciting. You can't wait to tell it every little detail of your life; past, present, future. You are proud of your blog, you want others to see it. You want others to think, 'damn, how did Henderson (replace with your name if it helps your visualization) get a blog that awesome?'. Your commitment is unwavering.

Time passes. You still like your blog, and you like that people still check it out. You still tell it what's going on, but more out of ritual than that inexplicable need to tell it everything like at first. You look at other blogs and think, 'oooh, that's a nice blog. How did Perez Hilton get such an awesome blog?'.

More time goes by. Its been a year and half or so. Now, I hear told there are people in the world that can actually maintain a healthy relationship with another person for a period this long or even longer. Personally, I think that is made up bullshit to confuse and demoralize the Communists, just like the platypus and the moon landing. In my experience, now is about the time that the ritual becomes a chore. You start to resent that damn blog. 'Man, I'm going to have to tell that damn blog about my trip. And didn't my blog used to look good? Its really let itself go. It looks like a goddamn AOL home page from 1996. Well, I might as well just get it over with and update the damn blog...'

Now, onto the aforementioned vending machine. I've included a picture for my valued Indian readers as, well, there really aren't any vending machines in India and I want to make sure they have a clear mental picture of the imposing size, weight, and ferocity of such a machine. Back in college I had this great friend; a Texan, a killer of anything that needed killin', a 4x4 driving master, and a true master at concocting diabolical and destructive ways to kill those boring hours between 2am and 4am. One such activity we enjoyed was to go around and knock over vending machines. Now, for any such reader that hasn't partaken of such activity, don't minimize the challenge, the danger, the science, the artistry, and the sheer joy of knocking over a vending machine. They don't tip over easily, I'll say that. Well, breaking up a relationship, if done right, is like tipping over a vending machine. It starts with a big, sudden, surprising push. Now, neophytes at vending machine tipping and relationship ending might think that's all you need. But no, good reader, that just gets the vending machine rocking. It takes several good shoves. These shoves need to be expertly timed to keep that vending machine rocking farther and farther each tip. Shove too hard, and you might just get crushed. Don't shove hard enough and that goddamn vending machine just goes back to sitting on its ass, expecting you to tell you about its day tomorrow. You keep it rocking at the right speed, with the right amount of shoves, and you'll get that vending machine over on its side with minimal personal injury. Ready to move onto another vending machine, hopefully one with those frosted circus animal crackers. Those things are the best.

Well, TheIndiaAdventure.com , I can tell its about time for me to start the process of tipping you over. But, as any vending machine destroyer / blog relationship ender should, I wont go cold turkey. I went to Istanbul in September, and just recently returned from a couple weeks on an amazing trip around Africa. I'll start blogging those soon.