Spoiler Alert

As defined by wikipedia.org:

Spoiler (media)
(Redirected from Spoiler Alert)

Spoiler is Genex slang for any element of any summary or description of any piece of fiction that reveals any plot element which will give away the outcome of a dramatic episode within the work of fiction, or the conclusion of the entire work. Because enjoyment of fiction sometimes depends upon the dramatic tension and suspense which arising within it, the external revelation of such plot elements can "spoil" the enjoyment that some consumers of the narrative would otherwise have experienced.

Does that make sense to you google fucking news? Reread the "dramatic tension" part one more time just to make sure.
So, youtube here goes to youtube.co.in and you can watch videos of people in sarees and hindu religious ceremonies to your hearts content. Google.com even goes to google india, and you can read all 1,360,000 recipes for veg biriyani. But I go to news.google.com, and what do I see:


I should have suspected this might happen when I read a few days ago that poor little deformed girl won Dancing with the Stars. I mean, thank god, it might keep her out of circus side show for a while longer, but I didn't really care. But now..

Listen news.google.com, maybe you don't understand what it takes to get American Idol to me in Bangalore. Let me try to explain. It all starts with a digital recording, then a person to playback the digital recording while a dvd recorder burns it into ones and zeros onto a laser read physical media, then said physical media needs to be packaged and driven to a facility that specializes in transporting such packages to literally the other side of the world. Upon arrival on the other side of the world, local custom agents must make a gigantic pile of similar packages in an almost indescribably hot airport hanger that is as filthy as any place you've ever been. After such pile is made, the aforementioned local customs agents must then stand around in a semi-circle and, while intermittently staring at the pile of packages and swatting at mosquitoes, they must as subtly as possible attempt to extort bribes from one another to allow this huge pile of packages to leave this hell-like hanger. After all bribes have been accomplished cyclically (well, semi-cyclically - the guy on one end of the semi-circle has to walk to the other end of the semi-circle to complete his transaction) and all local customs agents have the exact same number of rupees that they started with, but also a fairly significant feeling of accomplishment, the pile of similar packages is sorted into smaller piles. Now, since there aren't really street addresses in said local country, these packages must somehow reach their intended destinations based solely on general landmarks, the tenacity of the delivery agent, the truthful and honest response from the cow eating garbage on the corner when asked if she knows where Waterwoods is, and the very difficult decision by the driver that completing this delivery and getting a paycheck is probably worth more to him than just taking the package for his very own. After all of this has happened, and a final bounty has been extorted from the intended recipient for "additional duty fees", this recipient can than unwrap the package, take out the physical media, place it in a US dvd player plugged into a plug adapter which is then plugged into a 220/110 200W voltage step down converter which is then plugged into a local UPS (somewhat futilely as the power is often out and the battery in the UPS can play about 10 minutes or so of the physical media before conking out until the next wild spurt of electricity from the high voltage transformer placed 3 or so feet above the ground outside on the street with uncovered bare high voltage wires jammed every direction into it) which is then plugged into a wall socket which is driven by a switch placed somewhere randomly on another wall. All of this, dear news.google.com, takes slightly longer than the THREE GODDAMN HOURS it has been since AI finished.